As I'm sure you all have heard, the entertainment industry lost a legend yesterday. I'm sure we'll all remember his white gloves, his unusually high voice, his love for children, and his amusement park out in California. It is truly a sad day for everyone.
I remember visiting his amusement park as a child during our annual summer visits to California. I even got to sit on his lap once and have my picture taken. As you can imagine, security was tight, and I wasn't able to visit long but he seemed like the kind of friend everyone would want to have. Of course, who wouldn't want to have a friend that has his very own amusement park with rides, games, and unlimited junk food. I think that's what I'll miss the most, running around the park with him and all the other children, just laughing and enjoying the beautiful California weather.
Because he was so famous, a lot of people tried to get at his money by suing him for various accusations. I never believed any of those accusations to be true, he was just a kid at heart. Sure he had a lot of money and fame, but all he wanted was your friendship. As long as the children were happy, he was happy. That's one of the things I'll remember about him, he was the happiest when children were around.
In case you haven't heard, the man I'm talking about - is Mickey Mouse. That's right, Mickey has died. They found him in Peter Pan's Neverland yesterday - a magical place where boys never need to grow up, a place where you think you can fly, some say you can even walk across the ground like you're on the moon. It was a magical place where kids could come to get away from it all and just have fun.
We're all going to miss Mickey - oh, hold on - let me read the newspaper a little closer - oh my gosh, I can't believe I've done this - it's not Mickey that died, it's Michael. Michael Jackson died, so Mickey is okay. Wow, I'm really sorry about that. Okay, don't worry folks, there's nothing to be sad about, Mickey will still entertain your children for years to come. Phew, and I thought we all had something to worry about.
Who's Bad!?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Grab a fire extinguisher and give me a hand!
Punk'd. Candid Camera. Girls Behaving Badly. What do all these television shows have in common? They're all about pulling pranks on unsuspecting people. I love a good prank, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one, otherwise those shows probably wouldn't be so popular.
I remember one prank I pulled on my girlfriend in high school. She was working hard at a local pizza place and I was sitting at home waiting for her to be done working, you know what they say about idle hands. I called her up one afternoon imitating a radio celebrity who was known for calling various businesses and making the person on the other end sound like an idiot - and you wonder why we're not still together. If I remember right, I was trying to convince her that I had run over a squirrel with my car and I wanted to bring it in so she could make a "squirrel meat pizza" for me. I think she knew it was me because about two seconds after we hung up she called me asking if I had just called. To this day I've vowed that it wasn't me - I guess the secret is out.
When my friend Mark was in high school, he was the victim of a prank. What's funny is that it wasn't the school bully or one of his buddies that got him, it was his parents! After he went to bed one night (I believe it was March 31st, the eve of the greatest day to play pranks on people), his parents set all the clocks ahead an hour - including the one on his nightstand, his wristwatch, and the clock in his car. The next morning his parents were downstairs having breakfast when he woke up, stumbled downstairs, and rushed off to school. It wasn't until he arrived at school that he realized he was an hour early.
I'd never be able to pull anything off quite like that without laughing at some point and giving it away. I've always wanted to eat five or six Oreo's as I walk into my dentist office for my regular cleaning and see what they have to say about that. I'm assuming they'd say with a serious face, "Paul, why don't you go brush your teeth real quick before we get started." Then I'd be "that guy" who showed up with Oreo teeth.
A few days ago there was a prank pulled on a Holiday Inn Express in Conway, Arkansas. Someone called the hotel around 6:00 AM and told the girl at the front desk that he was calling from the sprinkler service company. He explained to the hotel employee that there was a problem with the hotel's fire sprinklers and that she would need to pull the fire alarm in order to reset them. The hotel employee (who had probably been working all night long) decided that this sounded reasonable so she pulled the fire handle, causing the audible fire alarm to go off.
Then the prankster told her that in order to prevent the sprinklers from coming on, she would need to break all the windows in the hotel lobby. Not only did the hotel employee start to do this, but she was aided by a hotel guest armed with a fire extinguisher - which, when not being used to extinguish fires, is great for breaking windows.
The caller then advised her that she would need to break a sprinkler head in order to keep the sprinklers from activating. As I learned from an incident in my college days, that only leads to a very wet building and a lot of upset people. I guess with the hotel fire alarm going off and broken glass all over the lobby, I can see how you might think that breaking a sprinkler head would help get things back in order. Within a few minutes she had one of the sprinkler heads broken off, and thousands of gallons of water flooding the hotel.
To add insult to injury, the caller then instructed the hotel employee that she would need to reset the control panel and in order to do that she would have to shut down power to the entire hotel! Not wanting things to get worse, she found the electrical room and shut down power to the hotel.
So, within a few minutes of someone calling her hotel, the dedicated hotel employee had (1) set off the fire alarm, (2) broken all the windows in the hotel lobby, (3) set off the sprinkler system, and (4) shut down power to the hotel. By now the police and fire department were on the way. I'm sure they've seen a lot of funny things but I can't imagine they've ever seen someone cause so much damage to a hotel in so little time. The total cost of this prank - approximately $50,000!
In this economy, times are tough and jobs are hard to come by. But if you're interested in working the overnight shift at a hotel, I think I know of a place that might be hiring.
I remember one prank I pulled on my girlfriend in high school. She was working hard at a local pizza place and I was sitting at home waiting for her to be done working, you know what they say about idle hands. I called her up one afternoon imitating a radio celebrity who was known for calling various businesses and making the person on the other end sound like an idiot - and you wonder why we're not still together. If I remember right, I was trying to convince her that I had run over a squirrel with my car and I wanted to bring it in so she could make a "squirrel meat pizza" for me. I think she knew it was me because about two seconds after we hung up she called me asking if I had just called. To this day I've vowed that it wasn't me - I guess the secret is out.
When my friend Mark was in high school, he was the victim of a prank. What's funny is that it wasn't the school bully or one of his buddies that got him, it was his parents! After he went to bed one night (I believe it was March 31st, the eve of the greatest day to play pranks on people), his parents set all the clocks ahead an hour - including the one on his nightstand, his wristwatch, and the clock in his car. The next morning his parents were downstairs having breakfast when he woke up, stumbled downstairs, and rushed off to school. It wasn't until he arrived at school that he realized he was an hour early.
I'd never be able to pull anything off quite like that without laughing at some point and giving it away. I've always wanted to eat five or six Oreo's as I walk into my dentist office for my regular cleaning and see what they have to say about that. I'm assuming they'd say with a serious face, "Paul, why don't you go brush your teeth real quick before we get started." Then I'd be "that guy" who showed up with Oreo teeth.
A few days ago there was a prank pulled on a Holiday Inn Express in Conway, Arkansas. Someone called the hotel around 6:00 AM and told the girl at the front desk that he was calling from the sprinkler service company. He explained to the hotel employee that there was a problem with the hotel's fire sprinklers and that she would need to pull the fire alarm in order to reset them. The hotel employee (who had probably been working all night long) decided that this sounded reasonable so she pulled the fire handle, causing the audible fire alarm to go off.
Then the prankster told her that in order to prevent the sprinklers from coming on, she would need to break all the windows in the hotel lobby. Not only did the hotel employee start to do this, but she was aided by a hotel guest armed with a fire extinguisher - which, when not being used to extinguish fires, is great for breaking windows.
The caller then advised her that she would need to break a sprinkler head in order to keep the sprinklers from activating. As I learned from an incident in my college days, that only leads to a very wet building and a lot of upset people. I guess with the hotel fire alarm going off and broken glass all over the lobby, I can see how you might think that breaking a sprinkler head would help get things back in order. Within a few minutes she had one of the sprinkler heads broken off, and thousands of gallons of water flooding the hotel.
To add insult to injury, the caller then instructed the hotel employee that she would need to reset the control panel and in order to do that she would have to shut down power to the entire hotel! Not wanting things to get worse, she found the electrical room and shut down power to the hotel.
So, within a few minutes of someone calling her hotel, the dedicated hotel employee had (1) set off the fire alarm, (2) broken all the windows in the hotel lobby, (3) set off the sprinkler system, and (4) shut down power to the hotel. By now the police and fire department were on the way. I'm sure they've seen a lot of funny things but I can't imagine they've ever seen someone cause so much damage to a hotel in so little time. The total cost of this prank - approximately $50,000!
In this economy, times are tough and jobs are hard to come by. But if you're interested in working the overnight shift at a hotel, I think I know of a place that might be hiring.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
The Wild West and Player Pianos
A few weeks ago, I was at my parents house playing their piano. They own an old player piano which I really enjoy playing because I feel like I'm stepping back in time when I sit down to "tickle the ivories". When I think of player pianos, I picture a few cowboys sitting around a saloon with the piano playing in the background, horses tied up out front, a few good looking ladies walking around in those big dresses, some tumbleweed rolling through the streets, the swinging doors - the wild west.
I don't know that my parents piano was ever in a saloon in the wild west but when I sat down to play that day, it got me thinking about how a player piano works. With a little research I discovered that it took several people during the late 1800's to develop a piano that could play on it's own. Basically, the notes to be played are represented by tiny perforations on interchangeable rolls of paper, while the player mechanism is powered entirely by suction, generated by the operation of two foot pedals.
The operator, or "pianolist", achieves dynamic shading of the music by varying the degree of pressure applied to the foot pedals. In addition, a set of hand-operated levers mounted just below the front of the keyboard provide accentuation, tempo control, activation of the sustain and soft pedals and selection of play and rewind modes. In the hands of an accomplished operator, a convincingly lifelike musical performance is achievable.
A player piano can of course be played by hand in the normal way, as the piano action and keyboard are entirely conventional. In fact, it is usually possible to play the keyboard while the roll mechanism is in operation, should any additional notes or harmonies be desired. The term "Pianola" was originally a trademark, first used by the Aeolian Company just over a hundred years ago, but in more recent times has become a generic reference to the self-playing piano.
The player piano was, for many, the main source of home entertainment during its peak of popularity between 1900 and 1930. You don't see too many old player pianos these days, however I've noticed a lot of hotels have player pianos that use MIDI to interface with computer equipment.
Even though I'm not a cowboy and there weren't any horses tied up out front, it sure was fun to sit down and play an old player piano for a while. To see a video of me playing my parents player piano, click here. By the way, this piano was converted to a "normal" piano years ago so if you think I was just moving my fingers to imitate the piano - think again.
I don't know that my parents piano was ever in a saloon in the wild west but when I sat down to play that day, it got me thinking about how a player piano works. With a little research I discovered that it took several people during the late 1800's to develop a piano that could play on it's own. Basically, the notes to be played are represented by tiny perforations on interchangeable rolls of paper, while the player mechanism is powered entirely by suction, generated by the operation of two foot pedals.
The operator, or "pianolist", achieves dynamic shading of the music by varying the degree of pressure applied to the foot pedals. In addition, a set of hand-operated levers mounted just below the front of the keyboard provide accentuation, tempo control, activation of the sustain and soft pedals and selection of play and rewind modes. In the hands of an accomplished operator, a convincingly lifelike musical performance is achievable.
A player piano can of course be played by hand in the normal way, as the piano action and keyboard are entirely conventional. In fact, it is usually possible to play the keyboard while the roll mechanism is in operation, should any additional notes or harmonies be desired. The term "Pianola" was originally a trademark, first used by the Aeolian Company just over a hundred years ago, but in more recent times has become a generic reference to the self-playing piano.
The player piano was, for many, the main source of home entertainment during its peak of popularity between 1900 and 1930. You don't see too many old player pianos these days, however I've noticed a lot of hotels have player pianos that use MIDI to interface with computer equipment.
Even though I'm not a cowboy and there weren't any horses tied up out front, it sure was fun to sit down and play an old player piano for a while. To see a video of me playing my parents player piano, click here. By the way, this piano was converted to a "normal" piano years ago so if you think I was just moving my fingers to imitate the piano - think again.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday!
Today I flew from Houston, TX to Minneapolis, MN. Normally, that would be just another flight but today was different. It my last flight as a Boeing 737 first officer - well for a while anyway. I'm sure I'll be a B-737 FO again at some point, but tomorrow I start training to fly the Boeing 757/767.
The B-757 and B-767 are two somewhat different airplanes, the main difference being the B-757 is a narrow body and the B-767 is considered a wide body. However, the FAA says that since the cockpits are so similar, the pilots that are trained on one, can fly the other with a just few hours of differences training. There are actually a lot of airplane types that are different but can be flown with the same rating, even the different models of the B-737 I used to fly are dramatic. For example, the 737-500 holds only 114 passengers. The 737-300 has old analog gauges in the cockpit. However, the biggest model of the 737 is the 737-900ER (extended range), it holds 173 passengers and has a "glass cockpit", meaning the instruments are laid out on a TV type screen.
Since I've had training on all the different models, I could walk off a B-737-900ER that came out of the factory 2 months ago with satellite TV, and walk into a 30 year old 737-300. Once you get used to it however - it's like getting in a car, it doesn't matter when it was built, all the controls are basically the same. You push the throttles forward and the airplane goes faster, you pull them back and you slow down, you pull back on the yoke and the houses get smaller, you push the yoke forward and the houses get bigger - no problem. Of course, if it was that simple, training for a new airplane wouldn't be two months long.
I've been through a few training courses in my day. I went through all my "small" airplane training at a few different airports in Minnesota. My favorite place was this little grass-strip about 30 miles south of Minneapolis. Talk about the good ol' days - when I was in high school I used to paint hangars, wash airplanes, help out the mechanic, and mow the lawn in exchange for flying. There were no paychecks, I just kept track of my hours on a scrap piece of paper and turned it in to someone, who I'm pretty sure didn't even keep track of how much I worked or flew. I got a few ratings there and then got the rest while I was in college. I had a lot of fun learning to fly in college, but it wasn't the same as the grass-strip I started at - too many kids running (and flying) around. I missed the days when it was just me flying around the pattern watching the sunset over the farm fields of southern Minnesota.
I eventually got hired by an airline and spent two months in Memphis, TN getting checked out on the CRJ-200. That particular airline didn't consider you an employee until you passed the check ride so, for two months there was no paycheck and of course, no company provided lodging. In an effort to save money, my best friend Mark and I stayed together in one of those hotels that are set up for extended stays, much like an apartment. It was $30 cheaper per week to have one bed instead of two so we agreed that I would pay a little more to sleep in the bed and Mark would sleep in his sleeping bag on the floor. Mark kept pictures of his wife and I kept pictures of my girlfriend on the mirror, that way the cleaning people wouldn't get the wrong idea.
A few years later I decided that buying a type-rating in a B-737 might help me advance my career so I attended Higher Power Aviation in Dallas, TX. This had to be one of the most enjoyable training courses I've been through. I hadn't felt so at home somewhere since my days at the grass-strip where I got started. It seemed like everyday they provided us with some sort of food - pizza on one day, root-beer floats on another day, even lunch at Ranger Stadium. Since I was doing this on my own, I had to provide my own lodging. My friend Mark happened to be there at the same time as me, so we once again shared a hotel room - two beds this time!
Eventually, I was hired by my current employer and went through training again on the B-737. Even though I was already rated in the airplane, each airline is responsible for training you on their procedures. Now after a few years, I've decided to upgrade to the B-757/767. The B-737 is fun to fly and I've seen cities all over North, Central, and South America and even the Caribbean. After I finish training on the B-757/767, most of my flying will be over to Europe with an occasional Hawaii trip. There will still be some South America, Caribbean, and domestic flying but most of my trips will involve crossing the Atlantic.
So for the next month or so, I'll be spending most of my time in the classroom learning about the aircraft systems and running through all the normal, non-normal, and emergency procedures in the simulator. Some of these scenarios include engine fires and failures, electrical malfunctions, and even what to do when you have a medical emergency while you're over the North Atlantic.
I wonder if they'll teach me why a 300 lb man with a 48 pound bag pays less for weight than a 100 lb woman with a 52 lb bag??
The B-757 and B-767 are two somewhat different airplanes, the main difference being the B-757 is a narrow body and the B-767 is considered a wide body. However, the FAA says that since the cockpits are so similar, the pilots that are trained on one, can fly the other with a just few hours of differences training. There are actually a lot of airplane types that are different but can be flown with the same rating, even the different models of the B-737 I used to fly are dramatic. For example, the 737-500 holds only 114 passengers. The 737-300 has old analog gauges in the cockpit. However, the biggest model of the 737 is the 737-900ER (extended range), it holds 173 passengers and has a "glass cockpit", meaning the instruments are laid out on a TV type screen.
Since I've had training on all the different models, I could walk off a B-737-900ER that came out of the factory 2 months ago with satellite TV, and walk into a 30 year old 737-300. Once you get used to it however - it's like getting in a car, it doesn't matter when it was built, all the controls are basically the same. You push the throttles forward and the airplane goes faster, you pull them back and you slow down, you pull back on the yoke and the houses get smaller, you push the yoke forward and the houses get bigger - no problem. Of course, if it was that simple, training for a new airplane wouldn't be two months long.
I've been through a few training courses in my day. I went through all my "small" airplane training at a few different airports in Minnesota. My favorite place was this little grass-strip about 30 miles south of Minneapolis. Talk about the good ol' days - when I was in high school I used to paint hangars, wash airplanes, help out the mechanic, and mow the lawn in exchange for flying. There were no paychecks, I just kept track of my hours on a scrap piece of paper and turned it in to someone, who I'm pretty sure didn't even keep track of how much I worked or flew. I got a few ratings there and then got the rest while I was in college. I had a lot of fun learning to fly in college, but it wasn't the same as the grass-strip I started at - too many kids running (and flying) around. I missed the days when it was just me flying around the pattern watching the sunset over the farm fields of southern Minnesota.
I eventually got hired by an airline and spent two months in Memphis, TN getting checked out on the CRJ-200. That particular airline didn't consider you an employee until you passed the check ride so, for two months there was no paycheck and of course, no company provided lodging. In an effort to save money, my best friend Mark and I stayed together in one of those hotels that are set up for extended stays, much like an apartment. It was $30 cheaper per week to have one bed instead of two so we agreed that I would pay a little more to sleep in the bed and Mark would sleep in his sleeping bag on the floor. Mark kept pictures of his wife and I kept pictures of my girlfriend on the mirror, that way the cleaning people wouldn't get the wrong idea.
A few years later I decided that buying a type-rating in a B-737 might help me advance my career so I attended Higher Power Aviation in Dallas, TX. This had to be one of the most enjoyable training courses I've been through. I hadn't felt so at home somewhere since my days at the grass-strip where I got started. It seemed like everyday they provided us with some sort of food - pizza on one day, root-beer floats on another day, even lunch at Ranger Stadium. Since I was doing this on my own, I had to provide my own lodging. My friend Mark happened to be there at the same time as me, so we once again shared a hotel room - two beds this time!
Eventually, I was hired by my current employer and went through training again on the B-737. Even though I was already rated in the airplane, each airline is responsible for training you on their procedures. Now after a few years, I've decided to upgrade to the B-757/767. The B-737 is fun to fly and I've seen cities all over North, Central, and South America and even the Caribbean. After I finish training on the B-757/767, most of my flying will be over to Europe with an occasional Hawaii trip. There will still be some South America, Caribbean, and domestic flying but most of my trips will involve crossing the Atlantic.
So for the next month or so, I'll be spending most of my time in the classroom learning about the aircraft systems and running through all the normal, non-normal, and emergency procedures in the simulator. Some of these scenarios include engine fires and failures, electrical malfunctions, and even what to do when you have a medical emergency while you're over the North Atlantic.
I wonder if they'll teach me why a 300 lb man with a 48 pound bag pays less for weight than a 100 lb woman with a 52 lb bag??
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Priceless Memories
A few days ago my dad invited me to his somewhat exclusive gun range for an evening of trap shooting. I say his range is "somewhat exclusive" because there is a limited number of people that are allowed to be members and the only way for someone to become a member is if a current member quits - or dies. Right now it's about a five year wait to become a member, although there were a few WWII-era gentlemen walking around which makes me think the wait time might be coming down. Members are allowed to bring guests who want to shoot or if they are interested in joining the club. Since it takes so long to become a member, no one ever really leaves the gun club. If I were a member, I'd be a little worried about inviting potential members with their weapons to come out and play, when the only way for someone to join is for a current member to die.
I have experience with handguns but have never shot trap before so while we were driving to the range, my dad explained the etiquette of trap shooting. For those who don't know, shooting trap is when you shoot a shotgun (which sprays out hundreds of little BB's) at clay pigeons launched from a shack out in front of you. Clay pigeons look like those discs that people throw at track and field events during the Olympics. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why they're called "pigeons". Shooting a pigeon with a shotgun is the equivalent of making hot-coco and mixing it with an electric blender. It'll get the job done but you'll be left with a mess and about half as much hot-coco had you just used a spoon from the kitchen drawer. You can shoot a pigeon with a rock from a slingshot and ruin his day, but shooting a pigeon with a 12 gauge shotgun is overkill - literally.
We arrived at the gun club on a beautiful Minnesota evening - a comfortable 65 degrees, no humidity, and no mosquitoes (which are actually the size of pigeons later in the summer). There were a few older gentlemen standing around recollecting the good ol' days when times were simpler. One gentlemen in particular had some good war stories - that's probably because he was on the beaches during the Normandy invasion on D-Day. I could have listened to his stories all day long, but the sun was approaching the horizon and I was anxious to destroy some clay pigeons, which I was about to learn is easier said than done.
My dad gave me a quick checkout on his shotgun (which I hope comes my way when he gives up his spot at the gun club). He told me how he bought this Ithaca shotgun when he was in the 10th grade from the local hardware store. Before he had saved up the $97 he needed to buy it, he'd stop by everyday after school and make sure it was still there, maybe hold it up and "shoot" as he imagined a duck flying over. Talk about good ol' days - no permit to purchase, no worry that he was going to go nuts and try to kill all the kids at school (half of which probably had shotguns too), just a 16 year old boy buying a shotgun. I'm pretty sure if a 10th grade boy walked into his local hardware store today and tried to buy a shotgun, the police would probably show up.
I didn't really think shooting clay pigeons would be that hard - well, I was wrong. Once you yell "Pull!" the pigeon comes flying out of the shack. You only have a split second to acquire the target, track it, get slightly ahead of it, and pull the trigger while still following the target. During each round there are five guys shooting from five different spots. The guy in the first spot starts and after his first shot, the person to his right gets his turn, then the person to his right, and so on. You go through that cycle five times, then everyone rotates to the next spot to the right. After each person has shot five times from the five different spots, that round of shooting is over. For those who didn't major in math, that's 25 shots for each shooter. In my first round, I hit one clay pigeon - ONE!!
My second round went a little better, I think I hit five of those elusive little discs. That being said, my dad was in charge of launching the clay targets and he noticed that I was hitting the targets that veered off to the left more often than not, so he kept firing my clay pigeons that way - gotta love a dad who makes you look good on the range.
Next was my dads turn to shoot. He told me on the drive to the club that he's not very good at trap shooting. I was beginning to doubt that statement when he hit his first five targets. I felt better once he began to miss them as he rotated through each firing position. When he hit the target he'd look over at me and pump his fist with a smile on his face, probably much in the same way he did when he first bought this weapon in the 10th grade. It was then that I realized our evening was more than just a father and son out at the range trying to destroy clay pigeons, it was more than that - it was two friends doing something that they love, spending time together.
45 year old shotgun: $97
3 boxes of shotgun shells: $30
Watching dad act like a 10th grader: Priceless
I have experience with handguns but have never shot trap before so while we were driving to the range, my dad explained the etiquette of trap shooting. For those who don't know, shooting trap is when you shoot a shotgun (which sprays out hundreds of little BB's) at clay pigeons launched from a shack out in front of you. Clay pigeons look like those discs that people throw at track and field events during the Olympics. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why they're called "pigeons". Shooting a pigeon with a shotgun is the equivalent of making hot-coco and mixing it with an electric blender. It'll get the job done but you'll be left with a mess and about half as much hot-coco had you just used a spoon from the kitchen drawer. You can shoot a pigeon with a rock from a slingshot and ruin his day, but shooting a pigeon with a 12 gauge shotgun is overkill - literally.
We arrived at the gun club on a beautiful Minnesota evening - a comfortable 65 degrees, no humidity, and no mosquitoes (which are actually the size of pigeons later in the summer). There were a few older gentlemen standing around recollecting the good ol' days when times were simpler. One gentlemen in particular had some good war stories - that's probably because he was on the beaches during the Normandy invasion on D-Day. I could have listened to his stories all day long, but the sun was approaching the horizon and I was anxious to destroy some clay pigeons, which I was about to learn is easier said than done.
My dad gave me a quick checkout on his shotgun (which I hope comes my way when he gives up his spot at the gun club). He told me how he bought this Ithaca shotgun when he was in the 10th grade from the local hardware store. Before he had saved up the $97 he needed to buy it, he'd stop by everyday after school and make sure it was still there, maybe hold it up and "shoot" as he imagined a duck flying over. Talk about good ol' days - no permit to purchase, no worry that he was going to go nuts and try to kill all the kids at school (half of which probably had shotguns too), just a 16 year old boy buying a shotgun. I'm pretty sure if a 10th grade boy walked into his local hardware store today and tried to buy a shotgun, the police would probably show up.
I didn't really think shooting clay pigeons would be that hard - well, I was wrong. Once you yell "Pull!" the pigeon comes flying out of the shack. You only have a split second to acquire the target, track it, get slightly ahead of it, and pull the trigger while still following the target. During each round there are five guys shooting from five different spots. The guy in the first spot starts and after his first shot, the person to his right gets his turn, then the person to his right, and so on. You go through that cycle five times, then everyone rotates to the next spot to the right. After each person has shot five times from the five different spots, that round of shooting is over. For those who didn't major in math, that's 25 shots for each shooter. In my first round, I hit one clay pigeon - ONE!!
My second round went a little better, I think I hit five of those elusive little discs. That being said, my dad was in charge of launching the clay targets and he noticed that I was hitting the targets that veered off to the left more often than not, so he kept firing my clay pigeons that way - gotta love a dad who makes you look good on the range.
Next was my dads turn to shoot. He told me on the drive to the club that he's not very good at trap shooting. I was beginning to doubt that statement when he hit his first five targets. I felt better once he began to miss them as he rotated through each firing position. When he hit the target he'd look over at me and pump his fist with a smile on his face, probably much in the same way he did when he first bought this weapon in the 10th grade. It was then that I realized our evening was more than just a father and son out at the range trying to destroy clay pigeons, it was more than that - it was two friends doing something that they love, spending time together.
45 year old shotgun: $97
3 boxes of shotgun shells: $30
Watching dad act like a 10th grader: Priceless
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Do what your mommy says to avoid the swine flu!
I'm sure you have all heard by now, there's a "scary" disease spreading around called the swine flu. It's contracted by contact with pigs that are infected but is spreadable through humans. The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of regular human seasonal influenza and include fever, lethargy, lack of appetite, and coughing. Some people with swine flu also have reported runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
Wow, that is scary! I got the flu about one and a half years ago and these symptoms sound identical to what I had! I wonder if I had the swine flu before people were even aware of it. Maybe I should call the Center for Disease Control and let them know about my swine flu from over a year ago? Maybe I'm the one who spread it around? Over the last year and a half, I've flown to all the places it's popping up; New York, California, Kansas, Texas, Mexico - it's probably all my fault! I better call my counselor because I'm going to have some serious post-traumatic stress disorder over this!
Richard Besser, acting director of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, noted that although ordinary human flu accounts for 36,000 deaths every year, he was concerned by this strain. "I fully expect we will see deaths from this infection," Besser said at an Atlanta news conference.
"36,000 DEATHS FROM ORDINARY HUMAN FLU"!! Now, how many deaths have occurred from the swine flu in the United States so far - NONE! ZERO! ZILCH! NADA! Why are we so worried about a flu that hasn't killed anyone in the US when there's another flu floating around - the ordinary human flu - that kills 36,000 people a year!?
My favorite advice from the CDC on how to prevent the swine flu is this;
-Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Immediately dispose of the tissue.
-Wash your hands frequently with soap and water to protect from germs, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
-Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth; this spreads the germs.
-Avoid close contact with sick persons and stay home if you are sick.
-Practice other good health habits, including getting plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food.
I remember when I was, ohhhhh, about five years old - my mom gave me the very same advice! I guess some people need the government to be their mommy. So boys and girls, do what your mommy says and maybe you won't get the swine flu.
Good luck.
Wow, that is scary! I got the flu about one and a half years ago and these symptoms sound identical to what I had! I wonder if I had the swine flu before people were even aware of it. Maybe I should call the Center for Disease Control and let them know about my swine flu from over a year ago? Maybe I'm the one who spread it around? Over the last year and a half, I've flown to all the places it's popping up; New York, California, Kansas, Texas, Mexico - it's probably all my fault! I better call my counselor because I'm going to have some serious post-traumatic stress disorder over this!
Richard Besser, acting director of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, noted that although ordinary human flu accounts for 36,000 deaths every year, he was concerned by this strain. "I fully expect we will see deaths from this infection," Besser said at an Atlanta news conference.
"36,000 DEATHS FROM ORDINARY HUMAN FLU"!! Now, how many deaths have occurred from the swine flu in the United States so far - NONE! ZERO! ZILCH! NADA! Why are we so worried about a flu that hasn't killed anyone in the US when there's another flu floating around - the ordinary human flu - that kills 36,000 people a year!?
My favorite advice from the CDC on how to prevent the swine flu is this;
-Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Immediately dispose of the tissue.
-Wash your hands frequently with soap and water to protect from germs, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
-Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth; this spreads the germs.
-Avoid close contact with sick persons and stay home if you are sick.
-Practice other good health habits, including getting plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food.
I remember when I was, ohhhhh, about five years old - my mom gave me the very same advice! I guess some people need the government to be their mommy. So boys and girls, do what your mommy says and maybe you won't get the swine flu.
Good luck.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Earth Day
Today is Earth Day, a time for the tree huggers of the world to tell all their non-tree hugger friends that they should recycle more, drive less, and try not to breathe as much - you know, because of global warming. They'll tell you that the Earth is our mother and we need to respect her and what she provides for us.
Can I just say something? B as in B, S as in S! The Earth is NOT my mother. I have a wonderful mother who I have great respect for. But the Earth, well....the Earth is a place. Since when did it acquire a gender?
I hope no one was offended by the term "tree hugger." I love to give people hugs - people - not trees. One time, I almost hugged a tree accidentally. I was trying to stretch my calf muscle after a bike ride and the only thing I could prop my foot on was a nearby tree. I put my arms on the side of the tree, much like a 6th grade boy dancing with a girl for the first time would put his hands on her hips. After I started stretching my calf, I quickly stopped when I realized that it could appear to a passerby that I was literally hugging a tree. So let me just clear the air, I have never hugged a tree.
When it comes to being Earth friendly, I'm not always the friendliest. I try to avoid public transportation. I'm probably never going to drive a hybrid vehicle. I never bring my own grocery bag to the grocery store. I don't use any sort of alternative energy like solar power or wind energy. I certainly don't use fluorescent lights either, they give me a headache and remind me of high school history class.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the outdoors, I love the endorphins I get from a long bike ride, I even love my granola cereal in the morning. For those of you thinking I don't recycle - I do. As a matter of fact, the recycling bin is usually much fuller than the trash bin. I don't pour oil down the drain, but that's mostly because I don't change my own oil. I like organic fruits and veggies, I even ate a Cliff bar for breakfast yesterday.
Holy cow, now that I read all that. It makes me realize that I might be more Earth friendly than I think.
Oh well - Happy Earth Day.
Can I just say something? B as in B, S as in S! The Earth is NOT my mother. I have a wonderful mother who I have great respect for. But the Earth, well....the Earth is a place. Since when did it acquire a gender?
I hope no one was offended by the term "tree hugger." I love to give people hugs - people - not trees. One time, I almost hugged a tree accidentally. I was trying to stretch my calf muscle after a bike ride and the only thing I could prop my foot on was a nearby tree. I put my arms on the side of the tree, much like a 6th grade boy dancing with a girl for the first time would put his hands on her hips. After I started stretching my calf, I quickly stopped when I realized that it could appear to a passerby that I was literally hugging a tree. So let me just clear the air, I have never hugged a tree.
When it comes to being Earth friendly, I'm not always the friendliest. I try to avoid public transportation. I'm probably never going to drive a hybrid vehicle. I never bring my own grocery bag to the grocery store. I don't use any sort of alternative energy like solar power or wind energy. I certainly don't use fluorescent lights either, they give me a headache and remind me of high school history class.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the outdoors, I love the endorphins I get from a long bike ride, I even love my granola cereal in the morning. For those of you thinking I don't recycle - I do. As a matter of fact, the recycling bin is usually much fuller than the trash bin. I don't pour oil down the drain, but that's mostly because I don't change my own oil. I like organic fruits and veggies, I even ate a Cliff bar for breakfast yesterday.
Holy cow, now that I read all that. It makes me realize that I might be more Earth friendly than I think.
Oh well - Happy Earth Day.
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